[N O S T A L G I A]

There’s a letter from you
That I keep in my pocket at all times
i know what it reads
and i know that I broke our promise.

If only you could see it
just one more time
foggy fields and blurry bedrooms
so strangely colorful and monochrome

I’m aware that I’ve failed you.
But what does it matter when you’re long gone?
does it count if you never got to see me grow?
probably. maybe the mistake was letting you go

would you even be remotely happy
if you saw where we’d be today?
Funny of me to say.
Out of both of us, you were the one that turned the night to day.

And if I went back and told you I’m sorry
Would you cry and ask me why?
or would you nod and softly whisper
„i get you, it’s alright“

If I said that I’m proud of you
even though you never made it past 10
do you think that maybe
(just maybe)
it could change something?

and if I told you that I loved you.
if I was there for you when nobody else was.
would I have been able to save you?
or would it only erase me in the process?

The snow keeps falling
and I’ve come to the realization that I’ll never wake up again.
my trial has run out
and I’m forced to say goodbye to you

never again will I be with you.
never again will I be like you.
and that’s just what I have to deal with.
as long as you’re happy, I don’t care.

so take a seat with me
on this meadow in our dreamland
and tell me about all the things
that you loved to do so much.

about the happy things
(That you never appreciated. I wished you did.)
about the sad things
(That you never processed. I wished you did.)
about the scary things
(That you never understood. I wished you did.)

about the warmth
(That you had. I wished I did.)
about the comfort
(That you had. I wished I did.)
and about the safety
that I wish we both would’ve had
but in the end, i fell and brought you down with me.

i’m sorry.
words will never be enough for this.
i hope you rest peacefully now
and maybe you’ve learned how to forgive
————–